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SPECIAL REPORT: Domestic Violence Survivors Honored with Mariposa Lily Award

13 On Your Side's Vanessa Gongora was one of the Mariposa Lily recipients and shares how she and the other women are creating change within their community

EL CENTRO, Calif. (KYMA, KECY) - WomanHaven, a Center for Family Solutions, is an organization in El Centro that helps victims of domestic violence get the assistance they need to get back on their feet.

They also recognize survivors who turned adversity into triumph.

This year, myself, Jazz Ledbetter, Griselda Partida, and Valentina Estes were chosen to receive the Mariposa Lily Award at WomanHaven's 7th Garden of Hope Mariposa Gala.

The organization dedicates the Mariposa Lily Award to a survivor of domestic violence who is now creating positive change within their community to end abuse.

Ledbetter's life was turned upside down when she was emotionally, mentally and sexually abused and started to deal with suicidal thoughts.

"Once I got to 17, I entered my first abusive relationship where not only did he abuse me in every way possible, he manipulated me into trafficking," Ledbetter says.

Ledbetter transformed her pain into words to resonate with others and offer understanding in shared struggles by writing Harlot Heart: Tributes to Triumph.

"What I can say is with this book, I can reach a lot of people who are like myself and it's a very vulnerable thing and sometimes even triggers me when I reread it, experience it, but I know this pain I suffered wasn't in vain," Ledbetter continues.

Ledbetter looks up to late rapper Nipsey Hussle and says because he helped transform her life, all 31 chapters in her book are Nipsey Hussle titles.

She read one quote of his that inspired her.

"The keys to success, multiply what you approach it with. Got to roll a dice but the first time that you can go legit, seize the opportunity, believe and take control of it. Then get on your marathon and grind it 'til it's over with," Ledbetter recited.

She even dedicates the chapter "Perfect Timing" to WomanHaven who she says saved her life.

You can find her book on Amazon, but she does prefer if you get a signed book from her. You can contact her on Instagram @harlotheart_org.

Ledbetter had an 8-year-old son and was seven months pregnant when she finally escaped from the abuse. Her baby was three days old when she made the move to Imperial Valley to receive help from WomanHaven.

She has now dedicated her life to fighting the effects of human trafficking, not just by sharing her near-death experiences in her book, but by becoming an entrepreneur.

She created Harlot Heart, a non-profit organization that aims to end sex trafficking through awareness.

"Where we do educate the community, we empower survivors and we are making a world that is safe for all human life," Ledbetter explains.

Partida says the domestic violence she experienced was a dark chapter in her life.

"It was mental, emotional, verbal abuse and it was for several years. Me and my children went through it," Partida explains.

She says she had hope her abuser would change, but realized it was a choice he was making.

Partida left her abusive relationship once it affected her kids.

"My end point was when it was physical assault by him and everything happened in my daughter's bedroom and that was the time I said I cannot be moving forward," Partida says.

She then understood that the next time it could be her kids in danger, so she had enough and moved out of the house in March 2019.

"I just couldn't see myself without my children," Partida continues.

After telling a friend about what happened, she was referred to WomanHaven for assistance.

"Which I'm really thankful because I not only got the help and support legally and doing the paperwork because I didn't know what to do," Partida says. "But also, they went with me to the court the day I was putting the restraining order. Judith went with me and she was with me by my side the whole time. For me, that was a huge support."

She says receiving the Mariposa Lily Award is a recognition of her responsibility to help and support other women.

"After what I went through and wanting to be learning, I started taking some classes which is domestic violence prevention and anger management and parenting," Partida mentions.

Partida then created her organization, Embrace Your Purpose.

"Christian Counseling and Life Coaching which is helping not only moms but also children, teenagers, and young adults to get the help they need," says Partida.

She shares a message to current victims who are going through abuse and scared to leave.

"My main message is to look for help. As a victim, you are always afraid of what people are going to say, what people are going to think, how they're going to react. It's either their family or community and I would like them to know that there's help outside," Partida says. “They don't need to be staying in that place. They deserve to be happy, they deserve to smile, to go to places without fear. Having their children around the house and be playing freely and without walking on egg shells. Letting them know it's a hard process to do, but to have the courage, that they can do it, that they can overcome this. There's organizations, there's people, that they can be getting the help from. Like me, WomanHaven Family Solutions that can support them. They're not alone."

Estes says she doesn't feel worthy of the award but is still thankful.

"All I wanted to do in the last 13 years is help other women, to know how to get out of a situation that I was in many years ago, either mental or physical," Estes says.

She says her main reason is because she knew what physical abuse was, but wasn't familiar with mental abuse.

"Thanks to google I figured out what was going on. It took me 13 years to figure out what was going on," Estes said.

She said she doesn't like dwelling on the past, she just moves forward.

"When I finally got out of the situation I had a little bit of money, no house. So I just concentrated on God, my daughters and work and I had an amazing job that keeps me busy," says Estes.

WomanHaven came into Estes' life about a year and a half ago.

A friend of hers was going through a domestic violence situation and she didn't know how to handle it, so Estes made a phone call to Gina Vargas, WomanHaven's Executive Director.

"They helped me coach somebody else over the phone to try and help her," Vargas explains.

Estes now runs a program called Healing Together at WomanHaven.

"A group of people that we can help like women getting beat or mental, talk to them every week," Estes explains.

She also stays really involved with the community and other organizations such as the Soroptimist International of El Centro and being the vice president of the library in Imperial.

Vargas says the Mariposa Lily Award is given to survivors because it represents transformation.

"The lily is a lily that grows in the desert of harsh conditions and so it is able to survive in the heat that it endures and still through the heat, it still blooms and blossoms," Vargas explains.

She says the victims of domestic violence come feeling a little rough and with no hope, but the way they stand back up after being pushed down, shows so much strength and resiliency.

"And when they become survivors we want to be able to applaud them for their efforts. So coming so far when they thought they would never be able to live without their partner, never be able to make it on their own, never again to be loved again. Because sometimes that's what makes people stay, they think they were never be loved again," says Vargas. "And they see themselves that they have actually accomplished that and they feel empowered whether through their support system, to know that they can move forward but economically too. That they're able to sustain themselves and to have a different life that they lost when they entered the doors when they seen that they were being abused and they thought oh no I've just closed my cell door. And then they're able to just open it back up and say you know what, I was the only one keeping that door closed and they have another life outside of it."

She says it's very empowering for a victim to share her story.

"You think you're going to share it to empower someone else, but as you say the story, you're actually empowering yourself and you're giving yourself strength and then you hear your voice flourish as well," Vargas continues.

Vargas says she's inspired by the Mariposa Lily Award recipients.

"They get to regain the power that was lost and they're able to thrive and they're able to see themselves in a new light, and so that's very inspiring to see that they have hope and that they're smiling again, says Vargas.

Vargas says she's thankful for the support the community gives and a way that individuals can help is to bring awareness.

"Bring it to the table. Let's remove the shame that comes with the victims," Vargas adds.

The women say they will continue to be an advocate for domestic violence victims and remind them, there is light at the end of the tunnel.

"It doesn't matter where you've been, it doesn't matter what you've done. What matters most is who you become," says Ledbetter.

Since becoming a journalist, I have learned I can use my platform to bring awareness to domestic violence.

Whether it’s sharing resources, sharing stories of hope, I’ve found my purpose.

If you or someone you know is suffering from abuse, there is help 24-7.

You can reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline at the (800) 799-7233.

Article Topic Follows: Special Reports

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Vanessa Gongora

Vanessa Gongora joined the KYMA team in 2022 and is the anchor/producer for CBS at 4 p.m.

You can contact her with story ideas at vanessa.gongora@kecytv.com

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