SPECIAL REPORT: Coping with grief
Stories shared from those who have lost their loved ones, the stages of grief and how to cope - 13 On Your Side's Mercedes Martinez report
IMPERIAL COUNTY, Calif. (KYMA, KECY) - This past year weighs heavily on many as they grieve over the loss of their friends and family. It is without a doubt that grieving is a process and something far from easy especially during these difficult times. Mercedes Martinez shares with you the stories of those who have lost their loved ones, the stages of grief and how to cope.
Delia Garcias' mom was diagnosed with COVID-19 back in December. She was in the hospital and her health started deteriorating.
Nurses told Delia and her family her mom was not responding to any treatment and with a heavy heart had to break the news to her father. He cried cried for three days straight.
Delia walked into her home to find that her dad had passed on Tuesday, Dec.8. He died from a heart attack.
Delia believes her father died from a broken heart as he couldn’t bare the coming loss of his soulmate. They were together for almost 60 years. Delia's mom passed the following day.
Oscar Aguilar, a clinical social worker shared what the stage of grief are. “Initial reactions or maybe shock, then will come maybe symptoms of depression, maybe anger, there’s all sometimes bargaining,” said Aguilar.
Acceptance, is the most important stage according to Aguilar.
“Coping with grief is a complex process as is but doing so during the pandemic has only intensified the feelings of isolation and sorrow," said Justina Hernandez her grandmother passed away August 2020.
Eights months later Justina and her family were able to say their proper goodbyes. She now shares a piece of advice to anyone going through loss, “take it one day at a time, be gentle with yourself and know that you’re not alone,” said Justina.
Oscar also shares some tips on how to cope with grief. “Focus on their self-care. Seek adequate support. Friends, family, spirituality if that’s important to them, and also seeking professional help. Counseling services, psychotherapy. But taking care of our mind our body and our heart,” said Aguilar.
Delia also share what has helped her cope. ”I believe that what has helped me the most first and foremost is getting close to god. In whatever you believe really. Hold on to that. Spirituality overall. Your family to be united. My kids who have supported me at 100%. Doing exercise and eating healthy that’s what really helped me,” shared Delia.
Oscar also mentioned, ”having a consistent bedtime routine. When we have consistent nutrition, hydration and of course exercise. Other aspects of self-care are of course being with friends and family. Especially supportive friends and family that you can talk to about the different stressors, your losses, trauma and things like that. ”
Cecilia Hernandez brought together a group of women she felt the need to reach out to and coordinated a safe space where they could share their struggles as a way to help cope.
Cecilia said,”through the pandemic every time you go to a store or anywhere else you could just see on people’s faces. You see people’s eyes and it’s almost like you see their feelings through their eyes and I think there’s just this need. This need to speak to each other.”
Cecilia’s only intention was to simply gather in a safe manner and to hear one another out and be supportive.
Cecilia continued to say, “I wish that I could give everybody a hug. I think that’s what we miss that let me comfort you in someway. How do you comfort someone right now? I don’t know what advice I’d give. I just would like to say in my little heart the only thing I can do in my little mind is this. I can offer this and those who I can reach out to this is what I can do. And my advice is that if you can do that then do it because you’d be surprised who you could touch. Just be more kind. Try to reach out more. And that’s the best advice I could give.”
Grieving comes like a wave of emotions but allowing yourself to acknowledge and feel those emotions and come to an acceptance is pivotal for moving forward. Self-care, including surrounding yourself with family and friends in a safe manner and doing the things you enjoy most also help combat some of life’s hardest moments.
