Woman loses husband in tragic accident, then builds community of support for widows
Nonprofit Soaring Spirits has reached millions
Simi Valley, CA (CNN) - In 2005, Michele Neff Hernandez and her husband, Phillip, were enjoying the active life they built as a couple.
"We hiked. We biked. We ran. We just had such a good time together," Neff Hernandez said. But everything changed on a late August evening when Phillip went for a bike ride and was hit by a car and killed.
"I didn't even know what to do with myself," Neff Hernandez said. "Every single thing about my life changed, from where I slept, to where I ate ... to who was I going to check in with if I had a flat tire."
While she had a great support system to help her during the difficult time, she said none of them knew how to handle her grief."They meant well but couldn't understand what I was going through."
Neff Hernandez realized she wanted real-world stories of how other widows dealt with this new reality, so she started seeking out and learning from them.
"Every time I sat down with one of these people, I felt understood," she said. "I thought if I could bring these widows together, what a difference that would make."
That's how her non-profit, Soaring Spirits, was born. The organization connects widows and widowers, allowing them to heal in a community that understands the pain of losing a partner.
"I just wanted a space where I could laugh and be free and not be judged," Neff Hernandez said. "And if I could make it easier for widowed people to find each other, they find a friend who's going to walk through their widowed experience with them."
Camp Widow was the first program she created in 2008. The annual three-day events gather widows and widowers from around the world to attend workshops, meet one another and find connections.
From Camp Widow, the non-profit has grown to also include 70 regional chapters all over the US, as well as pen pals and programs specifically for the LGBTQ community.
To date, the organization has reached more than 4 million people worldwide.
"It's about helping widowed people live life in community with each other, so that someone who has borne witness to their pain also bears witness to their life as they continue making their way forward," Neff Hernandez said.
Most recently, the organization added a virtual program for those who've lost a partner to Covid-19. The 24-week program creates a space for participants to be open about their unique struggles, such as not being able to say goodbye, not having a funeral and being isolated while grieving.
"It was such a powerful moment the first time they came together and understood that everybody could safely express whatever their Covid experience was," she said.
For Hernandez, while this work can be challenging and stir up her own grief, it's also very rewarding."
That gap that existed after he died, that exists to this day, is what fueled the desire to create an organization that's serving around the world," she said.
"It's been an incredible experience to build an organization that is in large part because he loved me so well."
