Before it happens to you

Physical and mental abuse has always been and will continue to be something millions of people face daily. Most recently, with the Women’s March and the #METOO movement, women are speaking out, sharing their experiences with abuse and speaking their truth. April is sexual assault and child abuse awareness month and no matter how old you are, what your background is or where you are from, being physically assaulted and violated can happen to you, it could happen to anyone.

News 11’s Madison Kimbro wanted to focus locally on what resources in Yuma County there are for victims of domestic violence and physical and sexual abuse and also educate those that may have never experienced such an ordeal like learning how to protect yourself, “before, it happens to you.”

Heather Griffith never thought she would become a statistic.

“I figured joining the marine corps. Since I’m already being abused, there’s nothing that the marine corps can do that hasn’t already been done to me,” said Griffith.

Heather endured years of abuse that all started about 15 years ago. By the time she enlisted in the Marines in 2009, it was a normal part of life for her and the shame was something she kept inside.

“At this point in time, I didn’t want everyone to know what was going on behind close doors at my house, because it was embarrassing.”

Her Husband, also in the Military was an alcoholic. She recalls the first time she ended up in the hospital after one of his violent episodes.

“The first time I went to the hospital with an incident with him, we had gotten into an argument which escalated into a fight and somebody grabbed a knife. I can’t remember whether it was him or me. I got punctured like right here with it, so due to the concern about it going deep enough to get into my lungs, they took me to the emergency room. His mom did because he was too drunk to drive,” said Griffith.

A nightmare Heather couldn’t wake up from. She had three kids to take care and knew she had to get out.

“The last incident that happened while I was in the Marine Corps; I had came into work with a black eye. You can try to cover up bruises that are on your face and stuff like that, but when you got a black eye and busted veins in your eyes, you know it’s a little harder to hide. A couple of my superiors pulled me aside to ask me what happened and by this time, you know I was just completely warned down and tired, so I just told them.”

With the help from her Marine family, Heather was able to file for divorce and eventually get away with her kids in tow.

“Where is he now,” asked Madison.

“Incarcerated in Mississippi somewhere,” said Heather.

Any chance of getting out,” asked Madison.

“Um, I think it was 14-15 years,” said Heather.

And he was incarcerated for what,” asked Madison.

Heather replies, “Murder.”

One in three women in the U.S. have experienced some form of physical violence by an intimate partner according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
On a typical day, domestic violence hotlines receive approximately 21,000 calls, which is on average close to 15 calls every single minute. In Arizona, it’s not until the third reported incident that the offender is officially charged with domestic abuse. While many fall victim to domestic violence like Heather, 63 year old, Stella Cruz experienced it as a young girl.

“It all started as far as I can remember, I was three years old when I first got abused. Sexually abused by the man that raised me, beaten by the woman that’s supposed to be my mother and I grew up with that as normal,” said Cruz.

A sad reality, I wanted to know what resources were available for woman in Yuma who want to learn how to defend themselves. Meet Luis Larios, owner of Larios Karate Club on 4th Ave. Born in San Luis, Mexico, Luis got involved in Karate as a result of his own personal hardship.

“I was about 10 years old when I started in martial arts. The reason why, because like I said, before I’d been bullied most of my life when I was little and I was tired of that,” said Larios.

He opened Larios Karate Club in 1994 and has been teaching self-defense for the last 16 years.

When it comes to self defense there aren’t any rules. It’s whatever you have to do in order to survive. Larios has trained women that have gone through all different types of situations. From being robbed to being raped. He teaches techniques that help people in real life situations and he doesn’t hold back. Classes are held weekly at his club.

Places like, Safe House and Amberly’s Place are known in the Yuma, but there’s another place, where people like Heather and Stella went, to share their truth and find guidance and help. It’s called, “The Healing Journey”. Opened in 2011, Estrella Fitch opened the non-profit trauma recovery center for those who have experienced major suffering in their lives, from men to woman to young children.

I’ve always had a lot of passion and care for those that have suffered from abuse. Child abuse, domestic abuse, domestic violence, sexual abuse. As I was growing up, sometimes you see things or hear things or you’re a direct victim of it yourself. You want to show them there is hope,” said Fitch.

It is there at “The Healing Journey” that Heather and Stella now teach young girls in a domestic violence sexual assault support group. Their mission? Know what to do, before it happen to you and if it’s already happened, teach these women and young girls how to be survivors and not victims. Along with building the strength to stop the cycle.

“If you’re able to get out of the abuse? You may have to walk off and leave everything you own for a period of time, but always try to get out. There’s people out there that will help you, ” said Heather.

The topic of abuse is one that not many have the strength to talk about and for women like Heather and Stella, being so open about their own personal experiences with domestic violence and sexual abuse is not something you see often, as it took years for them to feel comfortable enough to just admit it to themselves, let alone others, that what they were going through was not normal. If you are or you know someone going through abuse, physical or mental, we urge you to use the resources in your community.