How to remotivate kids for more distance learning

(KYMA, KECY, CNN)- Motivating kids to do schoolwork was hard enough in pre-pandemic times.

No matter how skilled the teacher, and how clever the lesson plans, most kids would find at least some academic work utter drudgery.

Many families are experiencing this drudgery compounded by distance learning compounded by two-plus weeks of sweet, winter break freedom during which nobody asked anyone to answer a math problem on Zoom.

Punishments and rewards can help nudge it in the right direction. To really unlock a child's drive, however, parents need to think beyond simply getting things done.

How motivation works

The brain systems behind motivation are shaped over time, and begin in the early years. Young children need a supportive caregiver to encourage them to take chances and explore, and cheer them on when they find an activity rewarding. Over time, the pleasure a child experiences from overcoming a challenge or indulging a curiosity will reinforce his or her desire to do it over and over again.

A 2018 paper from the Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University explains the brain mechanisms behind this process. It advises parents to start this early, and remember to challenge kids -- not too little, and not too much.

Doing more by doing less

This post-holiday period during a pandemic hasn't created the ideal conditions for parents to help kids get motivated. Who has the time? The resources? The ability to support? But even frazzled, exhausted parents, which is to say nearly all parents, can do it.

Like so much else in life, when it comes to motivating your kids less really can be more.Wendy Ostroff, associate professor of cognitive and developmental science at Sonoma State University inCalifornia, found that her sixth grade son was having a hard time with distance learning this fall.

Make sure they have time to play

Children are not designed to learn virtually, Ostroff said, no matter how good their teacher is and how long they can sit still. Instead, kids learn best through play, social interactions and collaboration, all difficult to achieve on a screen.

"We have to put the joy back in learning because a lot of the joy is gone," she said, explaining that surprise and silliness are what activate kids' brains.

In order to inject more of this in their lives, Ostroff recommends carving out time in the day when kids can learn in a more playful manner, whether it's during school or not. Listen to kids, help them follow their own curiosities, and worry less whether they are putting their all into every online assignment.

Help kids think big

For those moments when there is an essay that your daughter really doesn't want to write or a math problem that your son just doesn't want to figure out, it can be helpful to redirect their attention to how learning today will impact their future.

It's not about how successful they will be, since that may not sound inspiring, said David Yeager, associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. Try motivating them in the context of how they will be better able to help others.

"Reframe any frustration or difficulty a student is having as part of their contribution to the world," he said.

"Tell them the stronger their brain is, the more they will be able to contribute to something bigger than themselves."

"This taps into our instinct to help others, and the wash of feel-good hormones we tend to get from acts of empathy and altruism, Yeager said.

Reward the process, not the action

Rewards and punishments can be used for all ages, he said, but not to reward results or productivity. We should reward the routines and habits that make productivity possible.

"Don't use a reward for completing a Zoom call with perfect attention, use the reward for something smaller like being seated at 8:15 with your laptop open," he said.

"You are rewarding the habit, or the step that will make it easy, almost automatic, for them to be in class."